Baseball and EQ: Summer of '61

For those of you who know me, it's probably not surprising that my blogging would stray onto the baseball field.  With Spring Training games underway, it seems as good a time as any.

Today's focus?  Looking at baseball through the lens of emotional intelligence in the face of concrete data.

Statistics are a method to quantify what happens during the 9 innings of play (more or less) each game.  The history of those statistics takes on special meaning, as it did during the Summer of '61 - the year of the M&M Boys.

Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris, both players for the New York Yankees that summer, were each having incredible offensive seasons.  As Mickey hit a home run, Roger matched or exceeded the total.  Great times, exciting times, except people started to take sides - and not in nice ways.  Newspapers (especially the NY Daily News) and local radio / television stations fanned the flames to encourage fans to support one player over the other.

Given my age at the time, I easily was swayed to love what Mickey was doing, and to despise Roger's attempt to break the season home run record.  My decision-making was all emotion-based:  How could someone who wasn't a "true" Yankee (Maris had played with the Kansas City Athletics before joining the Yankees the year before) become the heir apparent for a record set by another beloved Yankee (Babe Ruth)?

The lack of empathy (OK, I'm being polite - the hatred) from baseball fans for Roger Maris that season is well-documented.  The pressure caused him to suffer both physically and emotionally, right up to hitting his 61st, record-breaking home run as the season came to a close.

These days, I have a much better appreciation of what happened back then, and how easily I and so many others were swayed to be less than objective during the home run race.  It was all about failed reality testing, impulse control, and empathy among other components of emotional intelligence.

Roger, I'm sorry.

The stats?  Yeah, they're important, but they've gotten so complicated in this Information Age they're mostly beyond my waning math abilities.  Being able to still enjoy the efforts of each player on the field?  It's why I'll always be a fan of the game.

Roger Maris's Retired Uniform Number Plaque, Legends Field / Steinbrenner Stadium, Tampa FL

Interested in learning more about emotional intelligence and its usefulness?
Contact me at parentehrg AT gmail.com.

My, Oh My, She Sure Isn't Shy!

Not that long ago, some long-time friends and I were having a casual discussion about personality type.  At one point, one of them turned to me somewhat indignantly and said, “What makes you think I’m an introvert?  I’m not shy.  I’m -,” and continued to list out adjectives that she felt best described her.  

I asked her one question in reply, and truth be told, I already knew the answer:  “When you first start to process ‘stuff,’ do you do it in your head, or by talking it out?”  

“Of course I do it in my head first!”  

From there, we continued to discuss the differences between extraversion and introversion, about sources of energy, and why that was the reason I probably put my foot in my mouth many more times over the 40+ years we’ve known each other than she has.  

Her initial reactions were based on so many of the stereotypes associated with introversion.  While those with such a preference can be shy, so can those of us with a preference for extraversion.  “Shyness” isn’t a determinant.  

What complicates matters further is a bias – perceived or validated - against introversion in many US and Canadian corporate environments.  Those who provide quick answers, are spontaneous in sharing during brainstorming, and demonstrate high energy are frequently rewarded with choice assignments and promotions.  

I had someone confide in me a couple of years ago that he frequently “fakes” extraversion at work as a combat strategy in order to be accepted.  When I asked him how he felt at the end of the day, his simple answer?  “Exhausted.”  

Getting back to my friend - by the end of the conversation, she claimed introversion as her preference.  And she's absolutely right, she’s not shy!

Interested in how learning more about personality type can be useful to you and your organization?  Contact me at parentehrg AT gmail.com.

Three Things I Noticed This Week ...

First, sometimes it's a simple amount of effort that helps to clear away the results of the storm (not to mention the different perspective beforehand):

 

Before and after I cleaned the moisture from the screen in my office window.

Second, when I hold myself accountable, I get LOTS more done than when I don't.

Finally, I really do have fun when I work!

Thanks for listening.  See you Monday.

Staying the Course, or Not?

With the Sochi Winter Olympics coming to a close, I’m noticing that a particular piece of information shared about many of the athletes is stuck in my head:  “S/he is now coached by …”.  

Why would an elite athlete change things up in the face of prior success?  For the same reason we change – to achieve a different and / or better result.  

In my case, I needed to make some adjustments to how and where I spend my time.  I needed to re-capture making myself a priority, to find a better balance for better outcomes.  

To that end, I made the crazy decision to travel to Minnesota in December (who does that?) to spend time with Jane Kise and Ann Holm as they shared their wisdom with those of us participating in the inaugural Intentional Leadership Coaching Certification session.  That small (and significant) change in how I spent my time led to two others, one of which was an entirely unexpected outcome.  

First, I finally made it a priority to complete my certification to administer and interpret the EQ-i^® (Emotional Intelligence) instrument.  It’s been on my personal development list for some time, and my use of the Intentional Leadership Audit™ helped me to achieve that goal.  

The other?  Spending time in the sub-zero, snow-packed Minneapolis-St Paul area forced me to buy new snow boots upon arrival in Minnesota.  With the bizarre winter we’ve had here in New Jersey, I’ve been more than prepared.  

Go figure!

Outside our conference room at the Minikahda Club.

Post-conference gathering before heading homeward.

I was able to capture this image in my back yard while traipsing about in my Minnesota snow boots.

Interested in how my coaching and consulting services can help you
focus on change?  Contact me at parentehrg AT gmail.com.

EQ-i / EQ-i 2.0 are registered trademarks of Multi-Health Systems, Inc., Toronto, Ontario CN.
Intentional Leadership Audit is a trademark of Differentiated Coaching Associates, LLC.,
Minneapolis, Minnesota US.

The Tin Man and Sharing Wisdom

Admission:  When I'm driving about, I sing along with whatever tunes are playing on my car stereo - and that's when I had this Just a Minute moment.

While driving to a client meeting last week, I was belting out my best along with America to their Tin Man when the lyrics took on an additional meaning for me:

Oh, Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin Man

That he didn't, didn't already have.

The Shared Wisdom model, as described by Mary Benet McKinney, OSB, is one that I frequently employ when facilitating leadership strategy sessions and other meetings.  The premise is that the wisdom is in the room already - each has a piece, and no one person has all of it.

Without exception, the leadership teams already have their wisdom before I start to work with them - I'm there to allow participants to focus on the wisdom they already have.  This frees them to concentrate on identifying other information they need to move forward with decisions, change, and strategic plans. 

America, thanks for the reminder!

Interested in how my facilitation services can help you focus on the wisdom in the room?
Contact me at parentehrg AT gmail.com.